


Zone Zero

by Aeshaettr



Category: OFF (Game), Persona 5, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, F/F, F/M, M/M, More franchises to come soon, Multi, Welcome to crossover hell
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-26 16:09:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12561148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeshaettr/pseuds/Aeshaettr
Summary: When Zacharie decided to set up a shop that broke the laws of reality, he should have expected SOME weirdness. As if using your own teleporting-bullshit wasn't enough, now he has to deal with kids with super powers, a talking cat, and he SWORE he saw an armored knight at one point.All in all?He's having a grand old time.





	Zone Zero

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Some of you might be coming from 'X-men or cooler'. Same stuff applies. Give me feedback, don't be nerds in the comments, discussion welcome!

Zacharie was not known for many things. This was mostly because he kept largely to himself, but also one had to take into consideration the air of.. normalness that he tried to cultivate. Penchant for masks aside, and vaguely annoyed sarcasm dragged kicking and screaming out of the picture, he tried to be somewhat normal. Someone you would look over in a crowd. He wasn't someone you would look at, and think 'Now that. That's an INTERESTING man'. And you certainly would not walk up to him, and ask 'Excuse me, are you Zacharie. Certainly not.  
  
So, when a girl with a brown bobcut and rosy cheeks walked into Zone Zero, and asked exactly that, Zacharie was two things. Confused, and mildly irritated. Who was this girl. How in the fuck did she know his name. The slight hostility that he was feeling materialised on his mask, with the dull eye-holes narrowing slightly, shadows falling across the brow to make a frown. Apparently, the girl took notice, her eyes widening. Good. Be threatened, you poofy-haired little shit. Still, he took a moment to compose himself, raising both hands to his chest, and pointing them with open palms at her. Then, the politest words he could think of at the moment spilled out of his maw.  
  
"Bitch I might be."  
  
She blinked. He blinked. She huffed, and put her hands on her hips, opening her mouth to say.. something. Zacharie didn't care.  
  
"Save it. You come into my shop and spout my name, which, might I tell you, I take EFFORT to keep as quiet as possible." Zacharie frowned, rubbing at his masked visage, but the hostility was gone, mostly. He was looking her up and down, and even though she could not see his eyes, the poofy-haired girl visibly shrunk down. His eyes alighted on the badge at her lapel, and he nodded, once.   
  
"Right, right. You from U.A?" The girl nodded, at that, warily looking over his mask. Had he topped it up in a while? Should probably get some paint out soon, wouldn't want to look sloppy. Slouching just a little further into his seat, the merchant gave a quiet little sigh, before scratching at the back of his head. "Lemme guess. You know either Yuuga, Izuku, or Hitoshi? One of those three?" Oh dear, she was going back into 'I'm kinda mad at you and I'm going to let you know' pose. Here we go.  
  
"It's not really appropriate to use their first names! It's really rude to do so, you know?" Zacharie just stared. Slow blink. Then, one finger raised up, pointing at the ceiling, before falling towards her.  
  
"Question. What part of this conversation made you think I care? I come from somewhere where it is the opposite, and as long as you are in my shop, you better damn well believe I'm gonna do things my way. If we, God forbid, meet on the street, then maybe I'll make an effort. Not in here. Capiche?" The girl looked offended. Shockfuckinghorror. Not everything went the way you want. Still, it was clear she was here for something, so he could afford perhaps the tiniest bit of respect. She had FOUND the place, after all. "Yo, poofy-hair. What's your name?"  
  
She perked up at that, blinking owlishly. Then: "Oh! My name is Uraraka Ochaco." She said, giving off a slightly crooked smile. It seemed she wasn't quite sure what to make of Zacharie. Good. Let her ponder. Old habits die hard, though, and Zacharie found himself answering before he really thought about it.  
  
"Me llamo Zacharie. Encantada de conocerte." Well, at least he answered in his own language, and this 'Ochaco' seemed confused. He watched as she pulled out her phone, mouthing out the last part of the sentence he had spoken to her. Was she looking it up? Jesus. Goddamned. Christ. Well, whatever. Still, when she giggled, he was left blinking in mild confusion. What kind of screws loose did she have to be laughing at a translation application.  
  
"Oh! Pleased to meet you too, Zacharie." She said, flushing with.. what, pride? It really wasn't that hard to look shit up on a phone. "My friend-" Oh, that explained it. "-Says, uh..vete a la mierde? I don't know what it means."

Zacharie _snorted_ with laughter, startling Uraraka. "Oh? Hah, tell him..solo si estàs arribas" Ochaco blinked, before shrugging slightly, and starting to tap away. Zacharie could afford to wait for this, a laugh was always worth lost time. Then, she started to giggle uncontrollably, dropping her phone on the counter of the store, and cover her mouth in amusement.  
  
Zacharie, being the impatient shit he was, picked up the phone, reading through the last few messages. Oh.   
  


* * *

fuck gravity: Bakugoooooooo  
  
Bomberman: what the fuck do you want  
  
fuck gravity: wow rude.  
  
fuck gravity: I'm at the shop that Zacharie owns and he just said spanish at me.  
  
fuck gravity: can you translate?

Bomberman: I mean, of course I can.  
  
Thunderstrukk: sometimes I think that Bakugo traded being a decent human being in for being the best at everything ever.  
  
fuck gravity: he said uh.. encantada de conocerte??   
  
Bomberman: yeah, that means 'nice to meet you'. Tell him I said vete a la mierde  
  
fuck gravity: ???  
  
Bomberman: just do it.  
  
fuck gravity: omg he laughed, its cute  
  
fuck gravity: and he said... um. Solo si estas?? arribah?  
  
Shook Knuckles: Why the fuck did Bakugou just smash a glass whilst throwing his phone against his pillow.  
  
Shook Knuckles: oh. Apparently that last bit means 'only if you are on top'  
  
fuck gravity: omfg

* * *

He was interrupted by Ocacho grabbing the phone back, huffing out a 'rude'. Still, she looked sideways at him, and he shrugged, a quiet little chortle escaping from the toad-shaped mask he bore. Still..  
  
"Now that THAT is over with... whatcha buying?" He said, getting down to business. He straightened in his chair, hands resting on each other. Business mode, engage.  
  
Uraraka flushed, straightening up. She seemed to fidget around for a moment. Then, her words tumbled out, as she blushed bright. "I want a dress that doesn't make my butt look big! Uhm! Please?"

Zacharie.. just stared at her. Then, he leaned forward, and hummed. Looking at her again, taking note of her wide hips. He sighed, resting his face in his hands, before peeking through his fingers at her.   
  
"I.. whatever. Spin." She blinked, then, dutifully, span around. When she alighted, facing him, her cheeks were even more red than usual. And Zacharie was just deadpan. "I found your problem. Your ass is big. I can't change that."  
  
Ochaco winced, pouting. Even muttering a little 'ouch, that stung'. Zacharie barrelled on regardless. "It's not a bad thing, Ochaco. Lots of guys'n'girls like big butts. Hell, I like big butts. But, I can't change your body shape, short of cutting parts off. Got me?"   
  
She seemed so.. sad. Head down, even if she was nodding quietly. The masked merchant hummed, quietly, before snorting quietly. "Okay, listen up. You aren't fat, that's for damn sure.-" Our of the corner of his eye, he saw her perk, just a little. "-You are probably naturally curvy, and that's not gonna change. You probably need good, strong legs for heroing, right? Don't be ashamed of them. You'll save lives one day, and all those squats you do now? They'll definitely help. And... one last piece of advice. If you can't love yourself quite yet, hang around with people with enough love for two."  
  
She blinked, and when she looked into Zacharie's masked eyes, she was red again, but smiling slightly. "Uhm.. what's the likelihood of that, Zacharie?"  
  
"I did. Once upon a time." Was the answer she got, Zacharie's face peering at her from over clasped hands. "Now. 200 yen, for services rendered." She spluttered at that, but giggled straight after, fishing into the pocket of her shirt to fetch out a few coins. His hand reached out to take them, as she bowed. She turned to leave, flushed and playing with the hem of her skirt, before skipping off. __Skipping. Ugh.  
  
Although, when she reached the door, she turned around, and flustered for a moment. Then.. "Thank you very much, Zacharie. I'll be sure to send more customers your way!"   
  
Zacharie's permanently frozen toad-smile turned chilly..somehow. "I look forward to it. Get the heck out."  
  
And then he was alone in his shop.   
  
Thank FUCK.

**Author's Note:**

> Zacharie at Uraraka: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/87/cb/dd/87cbdd4d7f0ea3189fd60d8841897121.png


End file.
